I have been in a funk lately. It began this summer when the full realization of being an empty nester started to set in. I did not deal with my feelings but kept pushing through to what I hoped were brighter days ahead. I was confident that as my youngest child began the next chapter of her journey, God would show me what was next for me. I wondered what excitement waited for me around the corner. After all, I had faithfully served my family for 23 years and was sure my next step was coming within weeks because of God’s faithfulness.
That did not happen. My daughter went to college, my son returned for his senior year, my husband went to work every day, and I was alone, in my house, with my two dogs and emptiness. Still, I continued to pray for God to direct me and show me what was next. I worked on projects put on hold during the summer. I would read my Bible and devotionals and listen to Christian music, looking for peace and confirmation that I was not alone and abandoned by the Almighty God. I have good friends; we would meet and enjoy lunch and fellowship. I attended Bible study and a small group at church. Still, every day when I woke up, the drudgery of life set in again, and the struggle would start all over again. This cycle kept me down and discouraged. I kept reading the Bible, and it helped for a while. For some reason, I did not let God’s goodness, faithfulness, sovereignty, and provision sink deeply into my soul. I stopped my daily walks in my neighborhood. I did not want to get out even though I encountered God on more than one occasion during these walks.
I woke up one day and decided this cycle was going to end. I was going to renew my trust and faith in the Almighty God. I would not let my feelings and fears over the future ruin another day. I realized that without me even knowing I was doing it, I let evil control me and not God. Satan is sly and patient. Like convincing Eve to eat the apple, I allowed negative thoughts to have more room in my heart and mind than the thoughts of being blessed.
I started retaking walks. It was good to get out around nature. It is so beautiful, with the leaves changing colors and the crisp air greeting me in the morning. One morning I was beginning the walk, and I walked by this tree. One of the branches was bending toward the ground. A considerable number of leaves were still on the branch, and it seemed like the weight was pulling it down. I always thought of myself like that branch, bent but not broken. This thought usually came to me during a struggle or trial. “I was bent, not broken; this trouble had not destroyed me. God is faithful and will help me.” That day when I looked at that branch, I had a completely different thought that changed my thinking. I thought, “I am like that branch but not because of burdens but because of an abundance.” My family is all healthy and doing well in college or their career. My husband loves his job, enabling me to still be available for my children when they need me. I have a house, a car to drive, food on my table, and a loving family. Most importantly, I have a God who never gave up on me or left me. There are many more blessings to recount; these are just a few.
In times of discouragement, feeling blessed may seem like an overwhelming goal. When I am feeling down, it is easy for me to give into the spiral and look at my life with the glass half-empty analogy. It is not always easy for me to get my eyes and heart off the problems and look for the blessings. If I have nothing else, I can always relish the gift of being a child of God, the best blessing anyone can ever have. A gift given to everyone who calls upon Jesus as Savior (Romans 10:13). Starting here will always enlighten me to other blessings. Psalm 32 is a great scripture to look to for inspiration on what to count as a blessing. We are indeed blessed that God forgives our sins and does not count them against those who call upon Jesus as Savior.
We all have the promise of a God who never leaves or forsakes us, a loving God who sees every tear and hears every prayer, and the truth that God will help his children. Isaiah 41:10 says, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Living with the feeling of being blessed instead of the sense of wanting will lead to a more joyful life. Often it is up to me to choose to look at my life as either blessed or not. When I concentrate on the negative, it is almost impossible to remember all the blessings God has given me. Perhaps this is why generations of Israelites were reminded so often of God’s goodness to them and their ancestors. God was with them as they wandered in the desert; God saved them as they crossed the Red Sea and protected them from the plagues in Egypt. God is incredible, and I often forget all He has done for me. I pray that the veil is removed from my eyes and heart so that I can remember all the ways God has blessed me.
Opening my eyes to see blessings will change how I act and react to everyone I encounter, leading to a much better testimony for God. God blesses me. It is time to focus on those blessings and not let Satan tempt me with what I perceive I don’t have. Heavy snow will bend the branches of an evergreen. However, the snow melts, and the limb bounces back. That is how I look at myself. There may be times when the trials of life weigh me down. Eventually, they will “melt,” and I will bounce back again. During these times of hardship, I must look to God for strength and help while waiting for the melting.
Every day is an opportunity to look at life, as Johnson Oatman wrote in “Count Your Blessings, Name Them One by One.” I can choose to see the blessings in the waiting, knowing that my perfect heavenly Father has everything under control. Psalm 103 shows us how to count our blessings by naming them, the truth that God cares for and loves us, and His love is a blessing.
There will always be prayers not answered in the time frame I would like. Or problems or concerns that I would like God to answer or fix. Concentrating only on the issues will make me anxious or fearful. Knowing God’s character, that He is good, faithful, perfect, and truthful, will help me see the blessings in my life and the ways that God has always met every need in his perfect timing. Give God praise and worship for the blessings he so lavishly gives us, whether they are great or small.
Count your blessings. Once you start, you will be amazed at the bounty of God’s goodness to you.
Peace in the Desert 