Standing on Jesus

Have you ever been so discouraged or low in spirit that you felt out of control? Have you felt so down that you want to forget everything, climb back in bed, under the covers, and pretend that you have a different reality? Even if it is only for a little while.

One of the tools that I feel the enemy uses against me frequently is discouragement. The feeling of discouragement distracts me from all the good in my life. My loving family, friends, church, Bible study, the fact that I can be a homemaker and be here full time for my kids are all things that should give me joy every day. Some days the frustrations in life get the better of me, though.

I was experiencing stress and anxiety: nothing unusual, just family life stuff. However, as the little things started to stack up, I felt I had to handle all of them at once. College decisions for my daughter started coming in, which was mostly good news. We had many conversations about the pros and cons of each institution. Then, shortly after Christmas break, my son returned to college and had a car accident. The car was totaled. The search for a replacement car began, and the shock of how much a used car costs sent us for another loop. The good news was no one was hurt, and all we lost that day was a car. This accident occurred on the same day we dealt with school issues with my youngest daughter. Then, one week later, my daughter’s car was hit and, yes, totaled. Again, we are thankful that no one was hurt and just a “thing” needed replacing. Praise God He supplied cars and the funds to replace the vehicles.

While this was all going on, I was not sleeping well. One night I was awake often during the night. I started to feel like I was losing my grip. I saw this picture in my mind of me hanging over the side of a building, barely hanging on. My fingers were getting closer and closer to the edge, and I was about to fall. Then, suddenly, I was standing on these impressive shoulders that appeared out of nowhere. When I looked at the shoulders, they were muscular and broad. Upon closer inspection, I saw that they had scars on them, and they were bloody because of the cuts all down the shoulders and upper back. Then I saw a head with a crown of thorns placed on it, blood dripping down the face. I then realized that I was standing on Jesus’ shoulders, and he had me. He was keeping me from falling. He was quite literally the rock on which I was able to stand. Psalm 18:2 says, “The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” I love the picture of Jesus being so solid that I can take refuge in Him. He is solid beneath me. Because He does not move, I can be sure that I am standing on firm ground if I am standing on Him.

God knows how much anxiety I had over my children. It wasn’t just the accidents. They are approaching a time in their life when they are facing big decisions. Did I do enough to equip them for this time? Have I modeled trusting Jesus with your future? Have I modeled the power of prayer in all of life’s decisions? These are just a few questions that kept running through my head that night. Instead of convicting me in my sin of worrying, he comforted me. He allowed me to picture Jesus as a shepherd. Jesus held my daughter in his arms and my son on His shoulders. He showed me that He is not only my rock but also a very caring shepherd. Of course, Psalm 23 comes to my mind when I think of Jesus as a shepherd. But the thought that Jesus is a shepherd, standing guard and watching the gate and the sheep know and follow His voice is also very comforting (John 10:27).

We live in a world that has so much to offer. Sometimes, those offerings take us away from what God has for us, and the world’s noise competes with the still small voice of God. I may struggle to see or hear God in the circumstances of my life when the world’s noise level grows. I need to stop what I am doing and turn to God through prayer and bible study when this happens.

Since that sleepless night, I have tried to focus on Jesus as the rock on which I stand while at the same time He is a loving shepherd, caring for his sheep. That night God showed me two sides of His awesome character. He is my rock;  solid, firm, and immovable. But He is also a caring shepherd that will leave 99 sheep and go after one that is lost (Matthew 18:12). Through the power of the Holy Spirit, I am training myself to focus on these images rather than my anxiety over situations I have absolutely no control over. Jesus died to pay the penalty for my sins. He rose from death to give me life. He offers this fantastic gift to anyone who calls on His name for salvation. His death gives me freedom from all the anxiety, doubts, and fears I have throughout my day. Belief in Jesus also gives me the freedom to be free of Satan and his many lies and how he tries to torment me. I have to choose to believe Jesus and trust Him. He says He is securely holding my future. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 21:11). I must run to Him in all situations rather than try to go it alone. If I had prayed when my anxiety reared its ugly head, I would have gotten a lot more sleep on that recent night. Jesus does not need my help in planning and navigating my future. He wants an obedient and willing heart that listens for and to His voice and leading.

In my overwhelming anxiety, the Lord came to me and brought sweet comfort as only He could. I was able to go to sleep, and despite little sleep, I felt refreshed the following day. I have thought often of that night and praise God for his comfort and coming to me in my need. I agree with the psalmist in Psalm 94:19, ” When anxiety was great with me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” God is faithful and trustworthy with all my doubts, fears, and insecurities. I encourage you to trust Jesus as your Savior, rock, and shepherd. He won’t let you down and will comfort you and give you peace in all of life’s situations.